I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
