it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
