he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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