guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
