for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize