I think I died a long time ago.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
