Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The dick lei will go down in squad history
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
