i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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