none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
