He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
