Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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