Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Mom said you looked used
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
