Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
