Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
