He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
