Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
