have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
