just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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