I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
