Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize