Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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