Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
