he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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