I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
