You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
