I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
they're like a gay fantastic four
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
