Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Also, beer. Big fan.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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