need another drink. this is the easiest way
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
So. Much. Porn.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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