Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Dignity is for republicans.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
