If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Boobs are out for the taking
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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