who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm both gender and math confused
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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