As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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