He kissed a someone with a penis
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
