Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
