im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
