My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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