What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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