ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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