Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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