Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
