so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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