If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
