R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize