I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
