i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
