i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
the day after is always just damage control
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
