I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
