real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
