dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
But break dance skills will only take you so far
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
