it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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