i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
