Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
