yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
