is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
