i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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