Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
