he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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