I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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