But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
