After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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