But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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