I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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