I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize