i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
