You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
