HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
