You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
