I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
our cab driver is having phone sex.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
