so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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